Staying with the previous examples I gave, I might ask: “what’s preventing you from losing weight?” or “what’s preventing you from putting yourself out there with men/women?” or “what’s preventing you from making more money?” or “what’s preventing you from speaking up at work?”
Again, the key here is to be honest. Don’t shut down. Stay open.
Quite often people will say, “I don’t know”. Which is code for, “I’m freaked out” or “I don’t want to admit it”. Just a side note, your brain is a super computer and it will answer any question you throw at. So, if you ask a question it will respond, you may not like the answer but it will respond.
Continuing on, once you are honest and you figure out what’s preventing you from getting the result, it’s time to brainstorm possible solutions. So, a question you might ask yourself is: How could I make it work?
Using one of the previous examples “I’m not fat, I’m just big boned” the steps might look like this:
Being honest could be:
Question: “What’s going on here that I don’t want to admit?”
Answer: “actually, I’m not big boned, I am overweight”
What prevents might look like:
- “I don’t like going to the gym,
- “dieting separates me from my friends”
- “I don’t want to eat salads all day
Again it’s important to note there is no judgement, it’s just your honest perspective on what’s stopping you.
Finally, how could I make it work?
- instead of going to the gym, try exercising at home or hiking, or something fun
- find a work out partner or get a trainer
- what other fun things can you do with your friends besides eating
- talk to a nutritionist about other options besides salads.
This may seem like an over simplification and you’re right. I’ve done that so that you can grasp the concept quickly. It’s really just a 3 step process:
1 – What’s really going on here that I don’t want to admit?
2 – What’s preventing me from getting what I want?
3 – How could I make it work?
It’s simple but to do it correctly takes an enormous amount of courage. Tackling our excuses or the stories we tell ourselves is hard work because our stories can seem so real and true that it makes it very hard to let them go.
However sometimes if you want to reach the opportunity you deserve, it’s an absolute necessity to let them go.
In closing, I’ll leave you with two final thoughts…
“The only thing stopping you from getting exactly what you want in life…is the bullshit story you keep telling yourself about why you can’t have it”
and
“The truth shall set you free”
BE HONEST.
