How saying YES and being COMFORTABLE are making you WEAK

I have a question for you, how tough are you?

It’s interesting, in my space of Finding a Way to Win; using creativity and tenacity to beat the competition, one of the areas that I tackle is mental toughness. Mental Toughness makes a huge difference in your ability to push and cope through adversity. It’s why I ask the question, “How tough are you?” because toughness, awkwardly, is built by going through pressure, by going through stress, and by getting out of your comfort zone. Quite often I see in my seminars and in my coaching, that people resist going into what makes them uncomfortable.

Unfortunately, when you resist going into what makes you uncomfortable, it makes you weak. It's mental weakness training

Here’s what I mean. What happens if you don’t exercise your muscle? It gets weaker, is that correct? The same thing is true if you’re not willing to get out of your comfort zone. If you’re not willing to push on the boundaries of what makes you uncomfortable, you’re gradually getting weaker.

I read an interesting story that talks about raising your kids. The author cautioned parents to be very careful that they don’t simply give their children everything they want by always saying “yes”. The consequence is, it makes life to easy for them and as a result they won’t have the ability to handle pressure or tension because they’re not toughening up their mental muscles.

Said differently, my daughter is three, and so she’ll want candy, ice cream, cookies, Paw Patrol, Bubble Guppies, whatever, honestly, she wants something all the time. If I’m constantly saying, “yes, yes, yes, yes,” she’s never building the coping skills to handle the “no” or the adversity. Consequently, when she leaves the safety of my home and goes to school, or sports, or gymnastics, or whatever else, all of the sudden now a teacher, or a competitor, or a different student, may say or do something contrary to what she expects and she’s not going to have the muscle to handle it. What’s true for her is true for us all. If we’re not testing our comfort zone, if we’re not testing our mental toughness, we’re getting weaker.

So, where might this show up? In sales is a great example. A lot of sales people simply will not ask for the sale. They’ll talk to the client. They’ll show them the presentation, but at the end they won’t ask the customer to buy, they won’t go up against that comfort zone. What happens is continuing this behaviour, over a year, or two, or ten, all of the sudden; they have no muscle to close a sale. The same is true when you work out. If you only work out to the level where you’re comfortable, then you will never lose the weight and you will never build new muscle. You’ve got to test, you’ve got to push, and you’ve got to go outside your comfort zone.

As I finish up, there’s a great quote I learned when I was an actor. My first acting coach told me this, he said, “listen, when you’re in your acting scenes, if you’re comfortable in the scene, the scene is dead.” What’s true for acting is true for life. If everything you’re doing is comfortable there’s no growth, there’s no progress, there’s no discovery, there’s no opportunity. You have to get tougher and test your comfort zone. So, I ask you again, how tough are you?

Thanks for reading and thanks for watching!


Calvin Strachan made the Find a Way to Win programs after becoming a leader in several multi-million dollar sales organizations ranging from: direct sales to pharmaceutical sales to personal development.

linkedin facebook pinterest youtube rss twitter instagram facebook-blank rss-blank linkedin-blank pinterest youtube twitter instagram